nothing like trying to strike up a conversation on some hip writing medium to make my head go quiet ... no.
wait. i'm not trying to strike up a conversation. i just want to talk.
i guess i just realized ... how much i do not want to be read.
i love gordon downie anyway.
well ... i'm all creeped out ... i want to write but ... ew. i feel like ... so gross. so like a 'zine. so like a poetry slam. so like an episode of simplemindedness to make us feel like our thoughts are important.
well i've taken a lot of shit just for wanting to write the shit down. people get all like "what makes you think we care about what you think?" and then you have to go "what makes you think that i give a fuck what you think?" and beg them not to read my shit but they can't help it. but i kept it all somewhere that i knew most normal people would never find. and i just realized maybe more people can see it than i thought but to hell with it. this is what i think regardless of what anyone else wants or likes or agrees with and i'm not letting anyone take it away from me.
it is the freedom to think ... that is the only thing i need more than love. well ... sometimes when you're in love, the pressure people put on you ... suddenly just thinking something means you don't fit so neatly in the place they've carved for you in their imaginations and ... it's hard.
but i think in some way, i'm so basically nice, that i can speak freely and ... trust myself even though i'm pissed a lot of the time, too.
in the other places i write, i can't keep the canadians from reading my shit (oh it's a long story i mean 9 years long since i angered canada and MAKE MY DAY YEAH SHOOT ME WITH A DONUT YA DRUNKEN BASTARDS!! ... only kidding i love canada ... the trailer park boys ... i went to prince edward island and everyone was cool in nova scotia but what the fuck happens to people when they move to toronto? i don't know but it makes them dog people in vancouver i mean even the GD canadians can't get along.)
WHY AM I HERE? why did i do this? partially i guess i knew a lot of the stuff out here had to be so f'n boring you'd want to scream bloody blogger. and that my shit ... might "stand out."
well i have a list of people, places and things that can blow me.
"God" is at the top of the list followed by bob dylan and germs. and yet all three can collectively blow me in the wind. hey i just made that up! well part of it. bob dylan blowin' me in the wind isn't new. just combining the items of the list according to some common aspect. like the wind.
i don't have a problem with bob dylan or whatever his real name is - i mean isn't that the first bad sign? your name suddenly isn't good enough.
but okay he tried ... he fought the power ... until the victoria's secret people approached him. and you get the feeling he didn't really need the money he made from doing that heinous commercial - which was the only thing that ever made me pity some victoria's secret model.
but mainly ... my rockstar boyfriend loved bob dylan and i knew that since i didn't, he was going to be just *that* much more of a dick to me, for being so f'n stupid, so utterly female, that i did not love bob dylan. he makes love just like a woman but he blows me like a little girl.
beg me to blog again
About Me
- Whorella Mundane
- I was the first girl paddled in my school district: I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR ALL RIGHT. And this is sure to make you admire me: I spent 12 years on welfare and ended up graduating from Carnegie Mellon University. With honors, of course. I’m an Organic Intellectual low life snob and can prove that free will doesn't exist except as an illusion on which all human conflict is based.
4 comments:
please blog again my god ... or why would my eyes bother opening or my lungs seek breath ... i guess at least here people will at least have new things to bitch at me about because they won't be able to tell me that my shit has nothing to do with the tragically hip and why don't i get the hell off of their stupid group and then the blowin me really begins.
now blog and I MEAN NOW
I really do hope you're a woman, cuz i have a boner now....
i sure hope you still don't have a boner because they probably would have had to put it under ice by now.
but i just started publishing again and i guess start up all of that because i hate my job so bad only that could push me into publishing.
i know everyone else is so happy when they get published and get to be heard but then any idiot is suddenly entitled to an opinion on who you are while disregarding half the shit you say and i didn't want to have to pummel anyone in a parking lot.
i think i'm just too old to be violent. i wonder what the metrics on that, are. well the old people sit around and decide who the young and just more prone to violence, get to kill.
anyway i'm going spend the day taking shitloads of klonopin to stay calm because i think i'm about to be passed over for a promotion i've worked for, for eight years - of course for defying my bosses' authority but i swear to god when i think someone is wrong about something and still have to do what they say, it wears me.
but i guess that defines a job.
back to your boner. i'm not really attractive but did put a picture up. i'm kinda fat ... i am seriously fat but not totally fat but more like 30 pounds fat as opposed to five and it's my way of saying i'd rather eat than date.
i have seen so much sex spam in email that it just sped up the law of deminishing returns so much i lost all interestin sex.
couple that with the last boyfriend i had. convicted murder. was going to marry me but was upset about having to give up his independence.
i left him without saying shit. i know it shocked the hell out of him that i could be so cruel - he did other shit i can't get into but.
okay time to add my columns ...
Wow McJo that is some shit I still can't read without my eyes watering.
Paul Knag
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